Give Your Kids a ’90s Summer: Road Trip Edition

Everybody is wanting to give their kids a 90’s summer, and as someone who lived through the 1990’s I feel I have some authority on this subject.

But first, are you SURE you want to give your kids a ’90’s summer?

Because that would mean you’d have to let them roam all over the neighborhood (or in my case, the dirt roads and deep woods of Alabama) with zero supervision and definitely not track their every move by GPS satellite. The only satellite we had back then was the huge satellite dish that looked like NASA set up a space station in our backyard.

You’d need to stock your pantry with food filled with either trans fats or zero fat, and lots of Red40 food dye. Even our Mountain Dew had Red40 back then.

You’d need to let them ride without seatbelts or airbags, and sometimes just toss them in the bed of your truck while you run to the gas station for cigarettes.

And yes, we still had screens back in the 90’s. I spent the entire summer of 1991 glued to my brand new Nintendo, because that princess wasn’t gonna save herself.

But if y’all really want to do a 90’s rebrand, I am here for it!

Here are my parent loading up our station wagon, getting ready to head back home from another Panama City Beach vacation. Look at that grin on my mama’s face. And those glasses!

We had many different cars when I was growing up, but this burgundy 1989 Caprice Station Wagon was my favorite. My sister dubbed it the “Dragon Wagon”.

It had rear facing seats where you could get up close and personal with the Mac truck that was riding your bumper on the interstate. I preferred to lay the seats flat and make a pallet so I could sleep on our long road trips. We regularly drove 6+ hours from Alabama to Kentucky to see my grandparents, 5 hours to the beach, and 10+ hours out to Texas for church retreats. Long road trips were a normal part of my childhood.

But riding ten hours in the back of the Dragon Wagon made it feel like a luxury trip compared to some of the other tiny cars my dad owned.

Today, let’s talk specifically about give your kids a true 1990’s road trip experience. Summer is going by fast, which means you better hit the road quick if you want to avoid those unexcused absences.

That means you need to make a plan and be prepared. Here are my suggestions for things that will totally give your kids a TRUE 1990’s summer experience.

Prep your kids for a 90’s Style Road Trip

So, let’s start off with a staple of every 1990’s road trip… A notepad and markers so you could write messages to truckers.

Just don’t let them write “WE’VE BEEN KIDNAPPED” like we used to, because if you hold up a sign like that today, and you get arrested. Nobody cared back then.

Or just teach them to pump their arm up and down, which is the universal trucker signal to honk their horn. If you can get a trucker to even look down at you these days, you’re off to a great start.

Here are classic road trip games to bring the nostalgia.

Mad Libs on the Road (also a good way to sneak in some summertime learning)

Travel Bingo Cards (let them channel their inner retirement village resident)

License Plate Game Printable (how many can you find?)

Family Scavenger Hunt (because Eye-Spy gets real boring after 25 rounds)

Travel Yahtzee (this was my FAVORITE for long road trips)

The Original Tamagotchi (the quintessential 90’s toy)

Fun window clings If all the games get boring, whip a pack of window clings out of your purse and let the kids go wild sticking them all over the windows and their foreheads.  This will provide minutes (ok, seconds?) of entertainment.

Other road trip necessities with true 1990’s vibes.

Walkman Cassette Player You’ll have to search eBay for a truly vintage Sony Walkman, but there are plenty of knockoffs on Amazon. Don’t forget to pick up some cassette tapes for the ride. For a true 90’s experience, I suggest Barney’s Greatest Hits, or 2LiveCrew, depending on the age of your children.

You think I am joking, but no lie… Me So Horny was the first cassette single I ever bought in 1990. I was in the 7th grade. The Swifties could NEVER handle true 1990’s music.

National Geographic Kids Ultimate U.S. Road Trip Atlas
Another old-school accessory you might want to consider?  An atlas. My mama always made me the “Navigator” on road trips. She would hand me an atlas and say “Find where we’re going and tell us how to get there.” I LOVED being the Navigator, and now that I’m an old lady I’ve got a killer sense of direction.

We are so reliant on GPS these days, and this is the perfect opportunity to teach your kids how to navigate using a map.  Get them to figure out your best routes to get to your destination.  You might be changing their names to Siri when you see how efficient they can be.

Don’t forget the Road Trip Snacks

No road trip is complete without snacks, amiright? And since fast food is so expensive, you’re gonna want to pack a picnic lunch for the road. That means you’re gonna need a few extras.

Travel-Size Igloo Cooler
Don’t let the dog pee on the sandwiches, Clark!!  Protect them inside a sturdy Igloo cooler. My family never left home without an Igloo Cooler filled with sandwiches and cans of Fantas. This is a must-have for a nostalgic 90’s style road trip.

Reusable Ice Packs
Toss these in the freezer a few days before your trip and they will keep your refreshments chilled along the way. This is actually a cheat, since my mom just put ice in a Ziploc, which would eventually melt and make everything soggy.

But listen.

If you are gonna make your kids relive the 90’s, you BETTER not bring any bottled water, protein bars or seaweed snacks along for the ride. Like, gag me with a spoon.

Those did not exist in the 90’s. Or at least not in the 90’s I grew up in. I only want to see 100% genuine 1990’s approved SNACK FOODS in that car. Leave the Larabars behind. Nothing healthy is allowed. Definitely nothing organic. Leave all that stuff at the store.

Your kids better be pumped full of high fructose corn syrup and Red-40 before you even hit the outskirts of town.

You definitely need a Stanley Thermos filled with Tropical Punch KoolAid (my fave!)
But for a true 90’s experience, make sure to get the old-school green Thermos kind of Stanley that your grandpa carried into the coal mines every day, not the fancy ones we know and love today.

My sister never left home on a road trip without a spray can of EZCheese, because nothing says 1990’s ‘MURICA like squirting cheese from a can onto a sleeve of Ritz crackers.

My favorite road trip food was a Little Debbie Star Crunch. They may have left that slick film coating on the roof of your mouth, but they held up beautifully on the bottom of a paper grocery sack filled with snacks.

My mama was a Diet Coke and Golden Flake Cheese Curl kinda woman, and if you topped it off with some Whoppers she was set for the whole trip.

Before there was Buccee’s, there was Stuckey’s, and no road trip was complete without a Stuckey’s Pecan Log. My dad LOVED these things, so they were a must-have for every trip. We were guaranteed one every single trip to Kentucky to see my grandparents.

He also loved to slurp down some Vienna sausages, so be sure to pack those or some potted meat for a simple white bread car picnic.

Photo from StuckeyStop on Instagram

Ok, now that you’ve got snacks… on to the final must-haves for a safe summer road trip.

Travel First Aid Kit
Because Boo-boos happen. Better safe than sorry!

Roadside Emergency Kit
Your inner Boy Scout will thank you for always being prepared for roadside emergencies.

Window Breaker/Seatbelt Cutter
You never know when you might need this tool.  Let’s hope it’s NEVER, but just in case….

Baby Wipes
Just take the whole case. You’re gonna need ’em.

Car Seat Organizer & Game/Activity Holder
What kid would not love to turn their backseat area into an airplane? This folding tray table holds all sorts of stuff- tablets, sippy cups, tiny toys…  This is not truly ’90s, but if you want to keep you 2020’s kids entertained, you’re gonna need it. Just make sure they are locked in their full upright position before takeoffs and landings.

And finally… the Ultimate 1990’s Road Trip Gadget:

A Nintendo Gameboy
You knew this was coming, right? You might think you want a technology-free road trip a la Greg Heffley’s mom, but you would be wrong.  Everyone needs some kind of electronic distraction to pull out in the 11th hour when the whole backseat is whining and sad. 

Plus, every Millennial/ Xennial spent their entire summer trying to save that princess, so don’t pretend like 90’s kids weren’t addicted to gaming, too. This is your Ace-in-the-Hole. Use it wisely.

Have a safe trip!

See you next Fall! (sorry I had to say it…)