I have a confession.
My backyard looks like this:
Suddenly we have been inundated with mushrooms. They seemed to pop up overnight. If I had to venture a guess, I’d say it is a combination of all the rain we have gotten lately combined with all the dog poop in the yard, combined with the fact that we didn’t mow our grass in the backyard for about a month because our lawnmower blade was broken. Now that J replaced the blade and mowed the grass, all the under growth is dead and brown, and shrooms are popping up everywhere!
Some are nice and mushroom shaped, just like you’d expect:
But then there are some that are funky and weird. Some that look like Jellyfish:
Some of them look like flying saucers:
Some look like Pac Man:
Some look like the air filter from my car that the dudes at Express Oil Change are always trying to convince me to replace:
And some that look like MushMouth
And some look like, well, bewbies.
I guess it’s common knowledge that it’s normal to have one shroom bigger than the other, right?
If I stare at this one long enough, I think I can make out the face of Papa Smurf. Or the Beast from X-Men. Or Jesus! Quick! Somebody call the Vatican!
Wait a minute…
I mean really, where are Gargamel and Azrael when we need them?
Do you think they make Valtrex for this problem?
Either way I gotta go clean up this mess before hoardes of college kids show up at my fence trying to harvest these suckers for shroom aid. Or Gus and Woodrow have quite a psychedelic experience.