Decorating Dilemmna: the BAMBi project

So I bought this Big Ass Manzanita Branch at TJMaxx the other day. I’ll call him BAMBi for short.

I fell in love with BAMBis back in ’04 when I was planning my wedding on the Knot. Every Fall Knottie HAD to have a BAMBi centerpiece at their rustic barn reception, right? I guarantee you that 95% of brides back then had this million dollar BAMBi centerpiece saved in her inspiration pics in her Knot bio.

And I was no different.

But when I found out the price tag on those suckers I waved a white flag on the end of my DIY ribbon wand in defeat. Then I curled up in the fetal position and sniveled into a tissue from my customized Tears of Joy Kleenex packet.

No, not really.

Actually what I did was make myself a Redneck version out of hickory and oak tree branches from my parent’s yard. Those were NOT a hit at all. They were so ugly I don’t even have a picture of them. Thankfully I stumbled upon these iron twig and berry candelabras at Old Time Pottery one day, so I traded in the DIY disasters for these prettier ones as seen here:

Nice, huh? I still have two of them.

So THEN when I came upon this beaut at a rock bottom TJMaxx closeout price last week, I just couldn’t resist! Trouble is… I have no plans to ever ever get married again, nor do I have a clue where or how I’m going to use this thing in my house!?

It’s BIG.

For scale purposes, Exhibit A, my 72″ long dining room table.

Um, that’s SIX FEET PEOPLE! And this thing nearly fills it up.

So the question is… what to do, what to do. It definitely ain’t staying on my dining room table. The way it’s sitting on the dining room table makes me think of the scene from Christmas vacation where Clark cuts open the turkey and it deflates to nothing but the bones underneath the skin.

Um. No.

Another thought I had was on top of the BAA (Big Ass Armoire) in my living room.

I’m kinda “Meh.” on this as well.

So, any great ideas on how to decorate with this thing? I found a few online that I sorta like:

Unfortunately I’m not much of a jewelry hound, so that one is probably out.

What about this?

Beautiful, huh? Yeah it took me a minute to realize it’s made of metal.

I would probably burn this mother down if I tried to DIY that at home.

I do love the look of it being silver, though, so some spraypaint might be in it’s future. Hmmm…

Then there’s this: Simple, clean, elegant, and ripe for the picking by a two year old with roaming hands.

Any help here would be greatly appreciated. BAMBi needs a home.